Book Talk with Author Garrett Munce
Self-care is the best form of self-love, but how we express that love may vary. Often when we think about self-care, we think it has to be in the form of an extreme excursion where we take an exotic getaway while fastening from social media to refocus. While that's one way (on an intense level), it's not the only way. Most self-care experiences don't require much at all, but it does require some thought and effort on our end. Luckily for us, we don't have to think too hard because we have a book written by Garrett Munce to provide us with different self-care options along with their benefits. So, do yourself a favor and do a preliminary self-care exercise by lighting a candle, turning on smooth jazz (preferably John Coltrane), and make a fresh cup of coffee. This is the best and highest level of self-care in my book (no pun intended.) I hope you enjoy the interview, coffee cheers.
How did the book "Self-Care for Men How to Look Good and Feel Great" come about? Can you share the backstory that led to this book?
Garrett: I think we're in an interesting moment, where many men are re-evaluating what it means to be men. There are a lot of conversations happening around masculinity and I think lots of men are looking at their lives and thinking about ways they can be better. Similarly, wellness and self-care are hot topics, especially right now, as so many people are looking for new ways to manage stress in their lives. I was excited to write this book because it was an opportunity to help guys understand self-care conversations that they tend to feel excluded from (lots of self-care and wellness conversations are geared toward women) but also help them understand why self-care is important and how they can incorporate it into their lives. Of course, when I wrote it last year I had no way of knowing what would end up happening now, but I do think now is a very important time for men to experiment with self-care practices that they may not have done before.
In the book, you mention specifically how taking baths regularly, setting time aside to meditate and how manicures and pedicures can all help with our self-care. Why do you think most men neglect or don't even think about these options as self-care?
Garrett: I think this comes down to two main reasons. First, thanks to generations of gendered marketing and societal images, things like baths and manicures have been coded as feminine. Of course, the act of taking a bath or getting a manicure/pedicure are not gendered, but many men see them as such (though far more men do them then would probably admit). This is changing, but I think still very common. Second, I think it boils down to time. Men are impatient creatures and taking time out of their day to take a bath or meditate is not something a lot of men want to do. The secret here is to understand that these things don't need to take up a lot of time, but also that it's important to take time out for yourself, even if it's just a few minutes a day.
Out of all the different self-care tips and advice you provided, which one have you been challenged with the most?
Garett: Even though I present all the self-care options in the book in a very straightforward way, some are definitely harder to master than others. For me, a regular meditation practice was most challenging because I was getting frustrated. I felt like I couldn't do it properly and would get fed up. Then I realized was that I was aiming too high - I expected myself to be really good at it immediately without putting in any time. People spend years and even decades learning how to meditate and I thought I would be an expert right away! Then a meditation teacher told me this: it's called a practice for a reason. Meditation is about the process of trying, not the final result. Those words helped me relax and trust that just making the effort to do it was enough. It's still hard for me to do, but I understand that's okay.
Time plays a huge factor when it comes to self-care. If you don't schedule it, you're less likely to do it. What's a good time to set aside for beginners to help them start their self-care regime?
Garett: In my own life, I've found that nighttime is the best time to start a self-care practice. Lots of people do things like meditation first thing in the morning, but I tend to be rushed in the mornings and trying to slow down only stresses me out more. Instead, I like to choose one or two things to do at night and just start my nighttime routine slightly earlier. It could be doing a face mask or taking a bath or just doing some stretches. Once I got in the habit of starting my nighttime routine a little earlier to include a self-care practice, I found I was able to gradually extend it to include more things more easily.
With COVID-19 leaving many people quarantined at home, how important is it now to practice self-care?
Garett: I should preface this by saying that self-care practices like the ones outlined in the book will not prevent a disease like the one we are seeing now. However, this is a super stressful and anxious time - whether you're staying home in quarantine or part of the essential workforce that is confronting the virus every day. The typical things we use to destress are not available right now (gyms, bars, restaurants, hanging out with friends in person, etc.) so finding ways to manage stress on your own at home is essential. Self-care practices can help with that and I think it's the perfect time to try out a few things to find out what works for you. Also, for those of us who are staying home, we now have more time to dedicate to self-care, which addressed the issue of men believing they don't have time for self-care
“I think the most important thing men can do right now is talk to each other about self-care - it gradually helps demystify it for all men. ”
This book serves as a guide and provides information that wasn't always readily available or even discussed. Do you see conversations about self-care happening more among men, and do we still have a lot of work to do?
Garett: Both. I am consistently floored by the amount of men that are having these conversations more often, both privately and publicly. It's especially exciting when they're doing it over social media since that's how we're communicating to the masses these days. I see it more every day and I couldn't be happier. I think the most important thing men can do right now is talk to each other about self-care - it gradually helps demystify it for all men. But I do think we still have work to do. You can't undo generations of gendered thinking with just a few Instagram posts. Men need to talk more about it in an honest way and leave judgment behind. Self-care is an individual pursuit and the more men talk about it (both privately and publicly) the more we can help each other.
What's the biggest takeaway you want to leave with readers after finishing this book?
Garett: I wrote the book as a very straightforward guide so that everyone, regardless of age or experience with self-care, can hopefully learn something and take away a new self-care practice. But the biggest takeaway I hope everyone has is that self-care is simple. In fact, you may already be doing some of these things. The key to turning something into a self-care practice is to stop doing it for the end result but to do it for the process and how it makes you feel. Our minds and bodies are connected in so many ways and you'd be surprised how a simple switch in mentality can take something from feeling like a chore to something you're excited to do.
To get your copy of “Self-Care for Men” by Garett Munce click here! Coffee cheers!